The Big 'O'

     No, I'm not referring to the queen of talk shows, Oprah Winfrey. I actually want to chat about ORGASMS!

      Before you cringe or get irrationally turned on, let's refresh what an orgasm actually is. An orgasm, from the Greek term orgasmos, is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by an intense sensation of pleasure. (Thank you wiki). This sounds very technical but actually its a normal, natural response to sexual pleasure and coveted by men and women everywhere. The act of sex should be a highly pleasurable activity between two passionate and loving individuals. However, what happens when you aren't able to achieve orgasm?

    There are several reasons why men and women do not reach climax. The most common are: stress, body image/self esteem issues, the plumbing isn't quite working, alcohol or drug use, aging and preconceived notions of sex. 

    So what can we do about this?

    First of all, we can't fully experience the joy of sex if we aren't comfortable and relaxed. If we're in a sympathetic "fight or flight" mode, it is next to impossible to achieve an orgasm. However, if we are relaxed, comfortable with our partners and able to leave the stresses of the day out of the room, the ability to orgasm 'rises'. Women are more likely to have a difficult time reaching orgasm and typically need clitoral stimulation to do so. So guys - don't forget about the foreplay!!! I just heard you groan....

Tips to achieve an orgasm

    Tip #1 - Set the mood and make the time. Put away the papers and work from the day, light a candle, slow your breathing and reeeelllllaaaaxxxxxx...ahhh!

    Tip #2 - Every man and woman is different when it comes to what turns them on. Take the time to talk to your partner, find out what he/she really likes, make a game out of it and keep things light. Half the fun is discovering each other.

   Tip #3 - If you think you may have an issue with your "plumbing", consult a doctor. There are tests and recommendations they can give to make sure you are in tip top shape. Diet and lifestyle can also help to keep blood vessels open and the blood flowing to each sexual organ.

  Tip #4 - If you truly want to have the mind-blowing, curl your toes, scream his name, "when Harry met Sally" orgasm, you need to stay away from the alcohol and drugs. Even pharmaceutical drugs can decrease desire and libido. Alcohol has a funny way of taking away our inhibitions but it does nothing for the ability to "get it up". Come on guys, you know you've been there.

  Tip #5 - Get comfy with yourself. If you're the type of person to look in the mirror and pick apart every little imperfection, start working on you. I guarantee, your partner looks at you and thinks - God damn, I'm a lucky son of a bitch. So strip off those clothes, turn on the lights and try something new!

 Tip #6 - We will all age. We will all have trouble at some point in our life with hormones. Its pretty much inevitable with all the xenoestrogens and extra hormones floating around in our water and food. But there are ways to regulate and modulate your hormones back to a normal balance. You can do so with herbal medicine, supplementation and going to see your favorite Naturopath! Everyone knows about Viagra and it's effects, but did you know that there is a plant called Yohimbe that can be just as effective! Woo plants!

 And finally -
  Tip #7 - If you grew up with the idea that sex is bad and dirty, you're not alone. Many people have this same core belief and therefore find it difficult to engage in a sexual act. However, this does not have to be a permanent belief. Counseling, psychotherapy and just educating yourself on sex, love and partnerships can shed light on the taboo of sex. Sex and making love can be a beautiful, fun, passionate, caring experience between two people (or one if you're really talented and have batteries)!

Moral of this story: GO HAVE SEX, LOTS AND LOTS. In a safe and loving way of course!! Spread the love!!